Let's Go to the Drawing Room for a Sedative

As this is a review, there be spoilers ahead.

My father grew up watching "Dark Shadows", and thusly when the Sci Fi channel aired reruns of the series when I was but a lad, he got me hooked on it. I've forgotten most of the ins and outs over the years, though I've been watching it again in preparation for the big screen adaptation put forth by my favorite partners in crime, Tim Burton and Johnny Depp.