Monday, October 31, 2016

Lame Claim to Fame

One time I met Weird Al backstage after a concert - and I completely choked!

My shirt was appropriate

So the story goes back in the Spring, my wife asks me what famous person I would most like to meet.

I say, naturally, "George Lucas."

She says "Music-wise, which of your favorite bands would you most like to meet."

After much deliberation, I say "Either one of the surviving Beatles or Weird Al."

She grins at me.

Apparently, Weird Al would be coming to our little state in September, and there were VIP Meet & Greet tickets available. The price was steep - we really should have used the money elsewhere and this kind of counted as my Anniversary, Birthday, Hannukah, and Christmas presents all rolled into one - but this wonderful, smart, funny, generous, amazing, sexy, kind, fantastic, beautiful woman that I married got us a couple.

Months passed, then a week or two before the concert we got our instructions on where to be and when.

We arrived at the theatre, and were directed to the VIP before-party. It wasn't much, they had almost no food, but they had some artifacts from Al's career that it was thrilling to see up close (I don't have those pictures though).

I should say that we were encouraged to "dress up" in some way, as this party was to have a costume contest. As you might have seen we went for a general "Tacky" style, but so many others at this party went above and beyond.

There was also a rather annoying emcee who held little contests. The first was a polka-off, which I was only dismissed from halfway through because I was wearing a belt over a bathing suit, and the essentials in my pockets kept weighing them down every time I bounced in my dancing, so I embarrassingly had to keep constantly hiking them up to avoid flashing the crowd.

The second was a Tinfoil Hat (and later swimsuit) competition, where when asked what mine was supposed to be I answered honestly "it was supposed to kind of be a Styracosaur, but it failed miserably." The response I got was "What's a Styracosaur?" Knowing that any other answer would be needlessly complicated and bore the crowd to death I simply said "it's a dinosaur; look it up." But apparently the emcee took it as snark, as he mocked offense and for the rest of the evening I became the "It's a dinosaur, look it up!" guy (although it may have worked in my favor getting to the finals even if I ultimately lost).

In any case, after all that we decided to leave the party early and stake out our seats. We were in the fourth row - technically the second row since the first two rows were makeshiftly added to the orchestra pit. After what seemed like an eternity, the video screen lit up, and the band came out and started playing "Tacky" - and the video of Al was outside the theatre...

Here he comes, walking down the street

Now, I had seen Al in concert before on my 18th birthday, but that was in a giant stadium and I was in the nosebleeds. I was extremely close this time. And while this concert was shorter, with a lot of medleys (including an acoustic medley where, among other things, he sang "Eat It" over the music of "Layla Unplugged"), this was easily the best concert I've ever been to.

"I don't have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?"

Carissa enjoyed it to. She had never been to a real concert before, outside of taking her little sister to Bieber once (and given how he does his..."music"...she doesn't count it - this was an actual rock band), and she counts it similarly as one of the greatest entertainment experiences of her memory.

"Well I'm going to the movies, I take up seven rows!"

Of course, the best was saved for the encore, as a cadre of Stormtroopers and a Darth Vader came out for the double whammy of "The Saga Begins" and "Yoda". Al even hugged Vader on the line "I guess I'll train.....this boy," which I have no pic of but my wife took a video.

"Did you know this junkyard slave isn't even old enough to shave, but he can use the force they say"

Then it was time to meet him. Everyone with the VIP tickets got in line. There were a lot of people. It was slow moving. And there was really only enough time for him to autograph the thing, take a picture, and move on. I had so much I wanted to say to him. When I got there though...


Me:" It's an really killed tonight, man!"

Al: *genuine* "Oh, thank you!"


Carissa: "You're my first concert."

Al: *genuine* "Wow, I'm honored!"

*awkwardly posing as annoying emcee fumbles with cameraphone*

*move along*.

Me: "Oh my god, what just happened?"

"They see me roll on my segway..."

It was fleeting, and I wish I had time to get out more, but for as over-the-top he is on stage he seems really nice and genuine backstage. Still, I can say I met Weird Al. I shook the man's hand, and said words that he heard and acknowledged. And that's really what counts, right?

"I've churned butter once or twice..."

It was all I could do not to go full-on Wayne's World.


  1. Dude... that's awesome! I'm kinda jealous... I've seen Weird Al live twice when he came to Colorado, but I was pretty far from the stage both times. Did he do the two-note drum solo? During the final chorus of "The Saga Begins", I remember him getting the audience to wave their cell phones while the stormtroopers and Darth Vader were waving their weapons. He knows how to put on a really fun show!

    1. He didn't do the drum solo, but he did this great thing at the beginning where after "Tacky" he put on his accordion, waitied for the crowd to stop cheering. Replied "What?!" in an annoyed tone, then continued in the same tone "Well, I feel contractually obligated to ask this, but...ARE! YOU! READY! TO! POLKAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!"