Sunday, April 9, 2017

Geekdom Madness 2017: Spooky Blondes/Fiery Redheads

This week: One of these things is not like the others...








Let's meet the combatants:



MATCH 1: Spooky Blondes




LUNA LOVEGOOD



Luna Lovegood is the daughter of Quibbler editor Xenophelius Lovegood and is a typical student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Well, that's a bald-faced lie; there's nothing "typical" about Luna, and her quirky and erratic behavior has earned her the dubious appellation "Loony Lovegood" from most of the student body. However, as her few close friends can tell you, you'll rarely find such a staunch, resourceful, and loyal ally in the fight against evil.

Pros
* Being VERY different herself, she is very accepting of others' differences.
* Her unique perspective can catch what others may miss (and create things few would imagine).
* As a Ravenclaw, she has a deceptive amount of raw intelligence behind her and is a more than capable witch.

Cons
* She takes The Quibbler - a Wizarding tabloid - very seriously.
* Can be off-putting in her spaciness.
* Was arguably the worst Quidditch commentator in Hogwarts history (or the absolute best, depending on who you ask)




BETELGEUSE


Little is known about the life of Betelgeuse (pronounced as if you were making a drink from an insect) except that he must have had a hand in his own demise, as he became a civil servant in the afterlife (that's what happens when you end yourself, apparently). He soon got tired of being an assistant to a spiritual case-worker and struck out on his own as a "freelance bio-exorcist" claiming to be able to rid ghosts' homes of their new mortal inhabitants - by any means necessary.

Pros
* Has a host of reality-warping supernatural powers.
* Great at making entrances.
* Attended Julliard, is a graduate of the Harvard Business School, travels quite extensively, lived through the Black Plague (and had a pretty good time during that), he's seen "The Exorcist" ABOUT 167 TIMES AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY. SINGLE. TIME HE SEES IT! Not to mention the fact you're talking to a dead guy, so WHAT DO YOU THINK?!? Think he's qualified?

Cons
* Is a crude and disgusting gentleman.
* Does not care about how many people he hurts, living or dead.
* Can only be summoned by saying his name three times, and can be unsummoned just as easily.




***




MATCH 2: Fiery Redheads


LEELOOMINAI LEKATARIBA LAMINAI-CHAI, EKBAT DE SEBAT


Sometimes known simply as "Leeloo", she is the latest in a long dynasty of Supreme Beings. When great evil and darkness prepare to destroy the universe (roughly every 5,000 years or so), the elements of Fire, Air, Earth, and Water are combined with a fifth element - said Supreme Being - to stop evil in its tracks. Unfortunately, in the year 2263 (by Earth reckoning), evil has some help and Leeloo is...sidetracked...from her mission. She requires the help of a hapless priest and a rugged New York cabbie to recover the elemental stones and complete the ritual before all is lost.

Pros
* Her DNA is, for lack of a better term, "perfect" allowing her to perform superhuman feats of strength, agility, and durability.
* Is an exceptionally fast learner.
* I did mention the "Supreme Being" part, yes? The Ultimate Good?

Cons
* Can be naive.
* Is more emotionally fragile than her physical prowess would indicate.
* No sense of modesty whatsoever.



DONNA NOBLE


Donna Noble was your average temp secretary at a London security firm on her wedding day to one of her co-workers when she suddenly and inexplicably finds herself inside the ship of a time-traveling alien which leads to the discovery that her fiancee is actually an agent of an evil spider-like alien species and that her workplace is the front of a secret anti-alien government program. Like you do. She leaves the whole sordid mess behind her, but runs into this time-traveling "Doctor" again some time later and shares in some of his adventures - eventually realizing she's more important than she ever imagined she could be.

Pros
* A lot smarter than anyone gives her credit for.
* Compassionate and kind.
* Able to adapt to new situations and jobs with surprising ease.

Cons
* Quite a mouth on this one.
* Can come off as abrasive.
* Bit of a temper.


***


Final Verdict
Leeloo will just be "Leeloo" from this point on in the bracket, though the posts will still have her full name because it amuses me. That's all the notes I have here. Four great characters, all deserve a win, only two can get it. Have fun!

As always, make sure you're viewing the WEB version of the site and vote in the polls on the right-hand side of the screen. Polls close Friday at 5:00 p.m., and results posted on Saturday. Feel free to discuss your picks in the comments below.




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