Sunday, March 5, 2017

Geekdom Madness 2017: Weirdmageddon/Cretaceous Land

This week: Forces of Nature and Forces of...random.

Let's meet the combatants:

MATCH 1: Weirdmageddon


Originally hailing from Piedmont, California, Mabel Pines was a..."normal" is a bit strong...preteen girl when she and her twin brother Dipper were sent for an impromptu summer vacation to their Great Uncle's tourist trap in Gravity Falls, Oregon. This was the summer she learned about life, love, and saving the world from reality-warping demons.

* Boundless energy and imagination.
* Seemingly endless optimism and trust.

* Does not always realize how her actions affect others.
* Fickle with matters of the heart.
* A terrible liar.


Bill Cipher is a being born from the second dimension. However, he quickly grew tired of "flat minds in a flat world with flat dreams". He sought to liberate his dimension - "liberate" in this case meaning "burn the entire dimension and everyone in it to the ether" - and upon success found himself in a shifting cosmic space between dimension whose sheer lack of any physical rules or laws would lead Bill to dub it The Nightmare Realm. Soon even that became boring for him, so he set his sights on the third dimension - and used the dreams of eons of humans to make sure a way to merge the dimensions could be found.

* Able to shape and influence any reality that he can be physically present in.
* Clever and adaptive.
* Decent pianist.

* Admittedly and shamelessly insane.
* Willing to destroy countless lives, figuratively and literally, just to have a little fun.
* Nasty temper that can circumvent his cleverness.


MATCH 2: Cretaceous Land


A genetically modified Tyrannosaurus rex that was created by International Genetic Technologies of Palo Alto.for John Hammond's secretive and ambitious "Jurassic Park" project. The star attraction of the original park which never opened due to a case of industrial espionage gone wrong resulting in the destruction of the park and a number of its employees and animals (some of each by Rexie herself). Amazingly, when the Masrani Corporation - having bought out InGen - rediscovered the park after being abandoned for years on the island of Isla Nublar, Rexie was found very much alive. She was recaptured and made the star attraction of the re-imagined "Jurassic World" where she still thrills guests in spite of her age.

* Bigger, stronger, and faster than any modern land animal even at an advanced age.
* Bone-crushing jaws.
* Amazing sense of smell.

* Ridiculously tiny arms
* Amphibian DNA used to fill missing genes cause her normally superior eyesight to lose track of unmoving targets.
* While possessing of a predatory cleverness, is not a particularly intelligent animal.


A genetically modified Velociraptor mongoliensis grown by InGen post-Masrani buyout. With this species being notoriously dangerous and difficult to tame enough for a zoo setting, Masrani's InGen grew a small batch that was kept outside of the Jurassic World park proper, hiring ex-Navy trainer Owen Grady to see if there was any hope of taming them just enough to keep the public safe (though some higher-ups secretly hoped for possible military applications). With Owen acting as "Alpha", Blue - named for her unique coloration - quickly rose in the hierarchy to become the Beta and acting Alpha for the pack when Owen is away. Though she and her sisters respond well in a unit, "tame" is about the last thing you should call Blue.

* Almost Simian-level problem-solving intelligence.
* Superior speed and agility for an animal.
* Razor-sharp talons on all four limbs - particularly the larger foot claws.

* Can be clumsy due to her increased size - the InGen Raptor genome being modified by people expecting a larger Dromeasaurid.
* Genetic mutation prevents feather growth.
* While generally more tolerating of other living things continuing to live than other Raptors bred by InGen, she still has a bloodthirsty streak.


Final Verdict:
It's three "lovely" ladies and a guy who is inexplicably on US paper money. Fans of Gravity Falls have a tough choice between arguably the two most popular characters on the show. Dinosaur fans get to pick their favorite therapod. I am interested in seeing the results (and interested in seeing how the hell I'm going to give a victory quote for Match 2)

As always, make sure you're viewing the WEB version of the site and vote in the polls on the right-hand side of the screen. Polls close Friday at 5:00 p.m., and results posted on Saturday. Feel free to discuss your picks in the comments below.

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