- Boss Nass, The Phantom Menace
Rejected openings for this review:
"Everything is Awesome."
"Best. Episode. Ever."
"God is real and he has listened to my prayers."
Let us look at the facts here.
1. Jar Jar is the star of this arc.
2. JAR JAR IS THE STAR OF THIS ARC.
3. He has been requested by the Queen of a planet of Force-sensitive Mars Guos to come and help out. Only him.
4. Why only him? BECAUSE THE QUEEN HAS THE HOTS FOR HIM!
5. And this is not the first time. Jar Jar dreamily insists they're "old friends."
6. Let that sink in for a second.
7. Yes, I am aware that I appear to be ripping off Mark Reads here, but I promise this is the only way my brain is allowing me to process the glory I have just witnessed.
9. So the Jedi have a bad history with this planet due to the whole taking babies thing they do, so they are not invited. In their infinite arrogance, they send Mace Windu anyway. Boo.
10. This has the added effect of Mace Windu becoming second-banana to Jar Jar.
11. No, you don't understand. Listen to me.
12. MACE MOTHER@$^&ING WINDU IS JAR JAR BINKS' SIDEKICK!
13. This is clearly the hierarchy the Force intended for the universe.
Of all the episodes I have seen, this is probably one of if not my absolute favorite arcs of the entire series. I just can't get over how insanely perfect this whole thing is. From the Temple of Doom, to the Gundarks, to the reappearance and (possibly?) demise of Mother Talzin, I don't think there's a moment I could find fault with. Well...if I had to pick something, it would be that I have no idea why Jar Jar is making so many weird noises...I mean, he always makes weird noises, but there's usually a clear meaning. There were a few moments here where it just seemed to come out of nowhere, like "Let me sing you the song of my people so you can sigh and facepalm." But then you have the moment where Jar Jar asks Mace if they as the Good Guys will save the day and he just gives the MOST ADORABLE PUPPY FACE EVER and even Mace Windu can't help but say "'Course we are," because how can you not want to hug that Gungan?
I may have become a gibbering mess at that part.
I think I have a problem.