So a little while ago, I came upon an exercise: "Describe Your Favorite Movie In The Most Boring Way Possible". One-sentence summaries that break it down to its lowest vague common denominator. And I loved it so much, I did it for my whole list.
So I'll give the list as those descriptions, and you all can try to guess what they are (in the comments if you wish) before seeing the answer in those newfangled Spoiler buttons I'm experimenting with. [EDIT NOTE: The spoiler tags were not working as intended since each button would only open the first one over and over so I am moving everything to an "Answer Key at the bottom]
Before I start, here are the criteria of my listso that you both understand and can use it to share your own lists if you wish.
* First off, this is a Top 20. I may eventually get to a Top 50, but no higher as while I adore many films I do not have that many that meet the truly "favorite" level.
* These are filns that have severely impacted my life and my sense of being and imagination throughout my life, and ones that I am always in the mood to watch when asked. My "Desert Island Picks" if you will.
* When a franchise (or parts of a franchise) are either tied and/or would otherwise go elsewhere on the list taking up slots, I pick my ONE top favorite as a representative.
* More in above, different franchises using the same characters are permitted where multiple entries in the franchises are not - i.e. Superman (1978) and Man of Steel (2013) are both valid, but Man of Steel (2013) and Aquaman (2018) being both DCEU are not
* While the MCU counts as one entry, one franchise, previously unrelated Marvel franchises such as Fox's X-Men or Raimi's Spider-Man that may or may not see post-hoc integration with MCU's multiverse kick (no spoilers please I'm a few films behind and am limited to what is available on Disney+) still count as seperate.
* Multimedia franchises that are not otherwise connected narrative-wise such as the Disney Animated Canon and the Pixar films count as one franchise one entry in my book, though multiple unrelated films by the same director may count individually.
So without further ado...
Top 20 Favorite Motion Pictures of All Time...Described as Boringly as Possible
20. "The crew of a cargo ship accidentally lets an animal on board"
19. "An awkward scientist makes a pest of himself."
18. "A Twentysomething has issues with his new girlfriend's relationship baggage"
17. "Four brothers and their immigrant foster dad hang around New York."
16. "Two guys travel to a church unaware they're not welcome."
15. "A woman has unfinished business with some former co-workers"
14. "Two men have different reasons to look for a boat."
13. "A taxi driver helps a woman search for rocks."
12. "Twins try to track down a Frenchwoman."
11. "A single mother asks her late husband's old friends to help her move"
10. "A jerk meets a girl who refuses to take his shit, so he learns to be less of a jerk"
9. "A detective gets involved in a celebrity marital dispute."
8. "A family pet has unruly offspring."
7. "An expensive zoo loses power."
6. "A rich guy navigates love and disrupts a mayoral election."
5. "A stuck-up guy reluctantly joins a dozen and one bearded dudes and an old guy for a road trip."
4. "An aspie orphan is adopted by a suburban makeup saleswoman"
3. "A nerdy teenager has a major disagreement with his best friend's dad."
2. "A guy changes his favorite holiday during a mid-life crisis"
1. "Two monks and a screw-up escort a queen to a government hearing and pick up a kid along the way."
This Concludes the Twelve Days of Listmas 2021. Happy Holidays and see you in 2022!
Adding some thoughts in the comments as the spoiler tags were an unmitigated disaster
ReplyDelete***
20. A surprise upset when reviewing films to reach 20. The second film would make an expanded list.
19. My father came up with the "Boring Description" for this one and it was too perfect not to steal. The sequel would not make an expanded list, nor will any entry from the original series appear in my Top 50.
17. No other film in this franchise would make an expanded list.
16. No other film in this (loose) franchise would make an expanded list.
15. Both films would make an expanded list.
14. The second and third films would make an expanded list. Was nearly replaced with the second film, but the cliffhanger bothers me more in a standalone setting than similar entries.
10. I count the multimedia group as a franchise and do not count direct-to-video sequels as part of this franchise for the purposes of this list (applies to 11 as well). The rest of my Top 10 of this franchise as detailed in a previous post would make an expanded list.
8. Both films would make an expanded list.
7. The second film would make an expanded list.
6. The first film MIGHT make an expanded list if there was extra room, but only for added context.
5. All six films would make an expanded list. Was nearly replaced with the 2003 entry, but it didn't seem fair as I can no longer stand to watch that one's original theatrical version due to the removal of a crucial scene restored in the extended version. (I prefer the extendeds of all, but can at least tolerate the theatricals of the rest).
3. All three films would make an expanded list.
1. The other five films with the same main creative vision would make an expanded list.