Chapter 15: Nip It In The Bud, They Say
[[Nilbog Notes: It's almost certainly meant by the writer to refer to the female player as "not feminine enough", given the line to the male player is "Only ladies are allowed in here". Transphobia and enbyphobia aren't exactly a stretch for someone with this kind of attitude. Thus ends the PSA.]]
A quick trip to the Pokémon Center to undo these status effects on my team, and now we're gonna cut our way in.
Okay, no more playing around.
And I know just who to give it to...
Now I should talk to my cheerleader guy about my win.
The extreme always seems to make an impression.
[[Nilbog Notes:
Doduo
#084
Normal/Flying
"A bird that makes up for its poor flying with its fast foot speed. Leaves giant footprints"
Doduo (and its evolution) are probably my favorite Normal/Flying basic bird Pokémon. They have decent stats for their typing, and have access to the powerful Tri-Attack move. Plus they're basically multi-headed roadrunners.]]
Axel, why are you tugging on me? You want this HM? You can't use it though. You seem very insistent...I guess you can hold onto it for now if it'll make you happy.
Okay, next stop...
[[Nilbog Notes: Rant time. I promised it, and here it is.
While I do think this is a mechanically better game than the originals and I do think it's the best place for new players to start, this is for me the absolute worst and most infuriating change made in these remakes.
In the original Red and Blue, in order to get into Saffron you had to give this guard one of the drinks from the vending machines on the roof of the Celadon Department Store. It rewarded checking everything, clued you into the cheap but potent drinks, and it was very clever.
If it erred, it erred in that it was kind of easy to miss, and it would be easy for people with no social life and/or access to a strategy guide to get stuck and unable to progress. And even if you added more NPC dialogue pointing you to the machines, on the tiny chance if you somehow had no money left, you'd be sol. So on that level, I understand and even encourage making a specific free drink a key item and one that's a little easier to find.
But here's the thing. They kept the fact that the guards were thirsty. They kept the fact that the guard downs the drink to rehydrate himself. It wasn't just a look for a flavor, it was a need of a refreshing liquid.
So why in the hell would you make the key drink HOT #%@!ING TEA?!?!?!
Who the HELL guzzles down HOT tea (and remember, it is described as tongue-scaldingly hot) when your throat is that dry?! You would want water! While Soda and Lemonade might not be great for hydration due to the sugars, they are still refreshing in the moment! Hell, even though I find tea in general disgusting, I would have been fine if it was iced tea! But no, no it's HOT GODDAMN TEA! And you can't even use the excuse that it cools as you walk with it and adventure, because you can take it right to the guard as soon as you get it from the old lady in the Celadon Mansion!
And I know - I KNOW tea is a very important part of many East Asian cultures. I understand that. And I understand many teas have health benefits over a lot of other drinks. But I would never, never ever EVER reach for a HOT BEVERAGE when I am thirsty enough to gulp down a whole bottle, and I don't know anyone who would! It's a stupid change and it takes me right out of the setting. Rodents that shoot lightning bolts out of their cheeks are more believable than a dehydrated guard choosing to burn their throat by trying to quench their thirst with hot tea.
/rant. MOVING ON.]]
***
[[Nilbog Notes: A slightly shorter episode this week, but with the show going on and weekday rehearsals mostly over I'll have some time to bring some larger episodes soon. Here's the team:
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