I don't really want to do this, since my whole point is to be celebratory and combat the hate machine. However, nothing is perfect, not even Star Wars. I hate the people who feel like they have to rag on some part of the Saga just to prove that they aren't sheep, so I'm not going to go that route. I'm going to try to be as tactful and matter-of-fact as possible because, as I'll reiterate and expand on at the end, these nitpicks don't amount to much. However, I have to be honest and forthright with all of you that not all is sunshine and daisies (though, it really mostly is).
And so, I present a short list of all the things, film by film, that bother me about Star Wars.
Episode I: The Phantom Menace
* As much as I think Jake Lloyd gets far more flak than he deserves, the goodbye speech to C-3PO was horribly done and nearly overshadowed the rest of the performance for me.
* Younging up Yoda doesn't make any sense since he's already centuries-old. So glad the Blu-Ray fixed that with the more familiar digital Yoda.
* This doesn't bother me while I'm watching the film, since it's paced so perfectly. However, the more I think about it in my spare time, the more I do kind of wish they were able to give Obi-Wan more to do.
Episode II: Attack of the Clones
* As much as I'm sure it was a nod to the classic "Tusken Rock" from IV, the poorly-animated Dug in the Coruscant chase bugs me to no end.
* Shmi's death gets me far more emotionally invested on repeat viewings, but my initial reaction was that it was only slightly less funny than Madonna's death in "Dick Tracy." I apologize profusely to everyone who worked on that (beautiful and chilling) scene.
* I like bad puns, but "This is such a drag!" was almost too much for even me. Almost.
Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
* As much as I understand what's actually happening, Anakin going from "What have I done?!" to "I shall do whatever you ask" still seems a smidge too fast on screen.
* She's lost the will to live?! Again, I understand it was the medical droids being stupid, but I think it could have been explained better in the film. Sure, it fits on a poetic level, but it just rings a tad hollow for me given what we know about Padmé. I think she was dealt a massive blow, both physically and emotionally, and that was shutting her body down. But I doubt her will, especially to protect her children, was truly lost.
* I would gladly have delayed the film's release as long as it took to get Liam Neeson to make an appearance as Qui-Gon's Force Ghost.
Episode IV: A New Hope
* The whole movie seems small and claustrophobic compared to the ones it spawned. This is a casualty of being the first, but it's the main reason why it's my least favorite (though I still love it to death).
* To me, Luke is far more annoying in this film than his father ever was over three (to be fair, I think he gets better and I generally like him).
* Speaking of the "Tusken Rock," regardless of '70s cinema charm, it's still a bad effect that take me right out of the picture.
* SE only, but for the love of cake could someone please get the Jabba model right? I mean, the 2004 model is a VAST improvement over the 1997 model, but it's still not quite there (It IS one of my favorite scenes in the film, though, even in spite of this).
* The obviously British Imperial officers are badly dubbed with bad American accents, as are many of the Rebels. I don't know what version this started in, but it's one of the most rediculous things in Star Wars to me.
* Again, mostly in comparison to the other five and without disregarding its thematic and emotional purposes in the slightest, but Worst. Lightsaber. Battle. Ever.
* Another thing that I wouldn't think twice about had it not been for the other five, the Rebel's readout screen on Yavin 4 is miles behind what the technology we've seen everywhere else, even accounting for them appropriating an ancient temple. It always bothers me.
Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
* Any time anyone says they hate Anakin/Padmé but love...whatever the hell Han and Leia are doing, I kind of want to slap them. There's an annoying onscreen romance with little chemistry for you (though I'll grant that "I know" was a decent ad lib and totally in character). I'm sorry, I said I wouldn't take that tone here, it just...it boggles me.
* SE only, but as much as Ian McDiarmid IS the Emperor, they could have easily made him look closer to how he appears in Jedi as opposed to how he appears in Sith. Also, I didn't quite like the line changes in the 2004 DVD and glad they got changed back for the Blu-Ray release. Again, still a great scene and I'll take Ian any day, regardless of makeup and dialogue.
* The Bespin scenes before Luke comes to the rescue really drag the film down for me. As much as the film tries, I just kinda sorta don't care. But that's just me.
Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
* Okay, so these next two I really have to take "that tone" with because it's my biggest problem in the entire Saga.
* Luke, Kenobi's ghost just told you you have a twin sister. What are you going to do? Pull Leia's name out of your butt and say nothing else when Obi confirms it. Bull.
* Leia, you just found out that the guy you've been having adventures with kissed twice is actually your long-lost twin brother. What are you going to do? "*beat* I know. Somehow, I've always known.".....BULL!
* Again, I'm sorry I had to take "that tone", but man...
*This is another fridge complaint, as in it only bothers me afterwards and not during a screening of the film, but I would blame nobody for thinking it was going back to the well with Death Star II (Electric Boogaloo), and I do kind of wish they had come up with a different threat. Only kind of, though.
* SE only, but as much as I like Hayden and the fact that he's there, I wish they had aged him up slightly. Heal him, sure, but make him look a little older. However, if Hayden makes an appearance as a Force Ghost in VII-IX, it won't bother me enough to list it here anymore.
So that's about everything I dislike about the Star Wars movies. Yet they're my favorite films of all time, all six of them. I love them to death and defend them and George Lucas' to the death. Because as much as I don't like what's listed above, they pale in comparison to everything I really do like and indeed love about the films. I love the story, I love the characters, I love the world it takes place in. If you think I'm going to let a couple of nitpicks ruin that for me, then you've got another thing coming. I repeat: I am not going to let what amounts to a handful of nitpicks ruin my enjoyment of everything a film does right. If you're the type of person who does, then it strikes me that you didn't really like the work in the first place.